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Pity My Heart So Full Of Hatred

by w/o

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1.
Wings refuse to fly forced to live inside skin is turning pale bitter and withdrawn struggling to hang on staring at the ceiling looking for a feeling a reminder that the pain inside her is a testament of faith seldom mentioned grace in the lonely nights i cave out a cavern in my arm and i fill it up with gold and frankincense and myrrh it reminds me who I am I'm compelled to understand that my pain has a purpose that my suffering's a gift
2.

about

Azazel in his old age, no longer protected by the longevity afforded to unfallen angels, finds his memory starting to fail him.

God seems inaccessible. It’s difficult to understand why he is cursed to live on the ground among the sons and daughters of men. His wings are frail and his armor is tattered.

Any trace of bitterness or hatred has dissolved into fear, disgust, and despair. Grey hairs and liver spots are unfamiliar to angels.

He remembers singing in choirs. He remembers the splendor and ecstasy of heaven. The pains of body and spirit he contends with now, he does not remember from before. These are new things.

In the book of Job, the namesake is given trial upon trial, as a test to see whether or not his piety is only dependent on his good fortune. Despite all his hardships, and the admonishing of his wife to curse God, Job, although despondent and covered in sores, refuses to, and is restored to his former splendor.

Azazel finds comfort in this story.

Holes in his memory separate him from knowledge of the fall.

credits

released July 17, 2022

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about

w/o Brooklyn, New York

Making art instead of killing myself.

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